Simon Says

I remember watching this film years ago. It was hilarious bad then and it's still just as bad after rewatching it again. It had some good Kills! The acting was cheesy as hell. 3/10

To make a long story short: it's not scary, and is poor in every aspect - script, camera, directing, acting.. Moreover it tries (poorly again) to be a grotesque in a way of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre II. So Simon says: "Do not watch this movie".

Good news is that it has got a spark of creativity, i.e. some of the scenes/effects were way beyond my expectation like one with a dog, and with flying blonde. Brutal, cold blooded, blunt, not too detailed - right to what it should be.

Well, simply avoid this Simon unless you are a horror fan with some exploratory streak.

Ah finally, here's another absurdly grotesque and over-the-top cheesy gorefest-slasher that could have come straight out of the 1980's, with its demented killer, stereotype characters and downright insane story lines! Many avid fans agree Crispin Glover is a genuine hero of the horror genre, and he obviously experienced the time of his life starring in this unspeakably nasty homage to bad B-movies & backwoods exploitation horror. Me says: Simon Rocks... and so does his equally sick-in-the-head brother Stanley. Glover stars in a double role as the redneck twin brothers Simon & Stanley, terrorizing a van full of empty-headed teenagers on their camping trip in the woods. Whilst enjoying random sex and soft-drugs, drooling Simon sneaks up on the teenagers and kills them – as well as some other unfortunate bystanders –in some of the most ingenious ways you'll ever see! Simon is particularly creative with pickaxes, as he developed several wonderful traps and ambushes all over the woods that mercilessly catapult the rusty weapons in the direction of the victims. Needless to say Simon's macabre games result in a gigantic blood bath, with gory impalement, decapitations and dismemberment. Of course, there absolutely isn't any tension or plot-development and the only story twist that is worth mentioning can easily be guessed long before it's revealed on screen. Crispin Glover (unintentionally?) finds a perfect balance between creepiness and humor. Although constantly exaggerating in performing his odd roles, he somehow occasionally manages to look creepy & menacing nonetheless. Perhaps that's just because he is Crispin Glover and always has this aura of morbidity surrounding him. One moment he's an ultra-creepy maniac who makes eyeless puppets out of his victims, yet the next he's a sneering lunatic who crushes little fluffy dogs with his feet and yells out silly lines like "You forgot to say Simon Says!!". The camping teenagers are your average routine and colorless lambs to the slaughter, including the pot-head, the muscled macho, the bimbo (who's likely to get topless at some point in the movie), the girl who always complains and the one remotely intelligent & likable chick who will presumably survive the massacre. Textbook slasher-fodder, but I couldn't possibly care less because "Simon Says" is a highly welcome return to the outlandish splatter fun of the 80's. Even the whole clichéd "family reunion" sequence near the end of the film immediately reminded me off several titles on my endless list of 80's favorites. I personally guarantee "Simon Says" is the ideal midnight-movie crowd pleaser, terrific entertainment to watch with a bunch of buddies.

What I find funny is the slasher style horror movie. The movie was already shot as a horror-comedy. However, especially the lead actor and absurd actions made the movie even more entertaining. I think the lead actor was wasted in the movie industry. Especially in strange psychological roles and absurd works, he could be a celebrity like Joaquin Phoenix. In fact, if a second Joker character is going to be created, Crispin Glover should play him.

The movie, like all slasher style movies, is about a group of spastic young people going to a campsite in the woods and a schizophrenic killer destroying these young people for the benefit of society.

There is sexuality and nudity in the movie.

I like to call this Scooby-Do Meets The OC "The Case of the Spooky Twins". In the Mystery Machine, Shaggy(Zack), Fred(Riff), Velma (Ashley) Daphne(Vicky) and Lonnie(Fred's Groupie), are fishing for gold in an abandoned, um Ghosttown. They soon meet the Gravediggers who tell them of the dangers of the place they are about to visit! Some people get offed in some mildly inventive ways (and even Scrappy-Do get's in on the action, poor pup) We even meet some characters that we weren't even introduced to that help fight the Ghost but... I won't spoil it but You may see this episode play over and over again! I like Crispin Glove from Back to the Future to his really off the wall things. His portrayal as twins is not far fetched seeing as how he had always seemed to have dual personalities. The supporting cast including the whole Liveley Family (love Red Head Robyn) are mildly entertaining but background to this plot. It could have been Freddy or Jason, But the pick axes set them aside and would have love to have seen this in a 3D style!