W.B., Blue and the Bean

Apparently when David Hasselhoff read the script and saw his on screen partners would be a Hispanic character and a token afro American he thought "my god i can feel the on-screen chemistry already!" - HE WAS WRONG! DEAD WRONG! When you see this film you really just want to say "gee Dave music really is the best career for you!" this film is unbelievably confusing, for starters its never explained why Hasselhoffs character is called Whitebread! AWESOME!!! The film is described as an action comedy which it is in a way, Hasselhoff wandering around trying to save some bint from drug lords whilst waving a pistol around like its a sock is some of the best unintentional comedy ever! The only explanation for Linda Blair agreeing to do this movie is that the priest didn't do a good enough job! as she must have been temporarily possessed by the demons of straight to the 99p bin in asda, ironically i bought this movie for 2p less in tesco, i could have spent it on something far more entertaining like a bath mat! all in all you should see this film if only to see Hasselhoffs awesome guns!

W. B., BLUE AND THE BEAN (aka: BAIL OUT) stars intergalactic megastar David Hasselhoff as tennis enthusiast / bounty hunter Roger W. B." (White Bread) Donaldson. His latest job involves an heiress named Nettie (Linda Blair).

What seems like an easy assignment turns into a dangerous adventure when Nettie is abducted by machinegun-toting thugs. W. B. Assembles his team of operatives (aka: goofballs) who must risk their lives, blow stuff up, and mimic the A-Team in their attempt to rescue Nettie.

If you crave brainless action, explosions, infinite gunfire, extra-long car chases, and unexpected full-frontal nudity, then you have just entered the promised land!

Do not miss this blessed event!...

Roger "White Bread" Donaldson (David Hasselhoff) is a bounty hunter whose sleazy boss (Charlie Brill) assigns him a rich girl, Nettie Ridgeway (Linda Blair), who'd witnessed the murder of a boyfriend by your standard issue scummy drug runners. His job will ultimately be to make sure that she is in court to testify against the villains, even if he has to go into Mexico to do it. Fortunately, on his side he has his faithful friends Mason "Blue" Walcott (Tony Brubaker), a former football player, and Casper "Bean" Garcia (Thomas Rosales Jr.).

As written and directed by veteran stuntman Max Kleven (whose previous directorial efforts include "Ruckus" (also with Blair) and "The Night Stalker"), this is adequate action entertainment with respectable set pieces, a reasonable amount of energy and humour, a jaunty and hilarious Chuck Cirino music score, and a ready and willing cast. The Hoff brings all his charisma to the proceedings (he and Blair also did the horror film "Witchery" together), and he, Brubaker, and Rosales are a moderately amusing team. (If you don't see this for anything else, see it for the engaging Brubaker and Rosales, two more very experienced stuntmen and bit players who get rare substantial co-starring roles here.) Blair is cute and appealing as always.

Also among the supporting cast are John Vernon (he'd previously acted with Blair in "Chained Heat" and "Savage Streets" and plays her dad here), Gregory Scott Cummins ("Stone Cold" '91) as the suave villain Zalazar, Wayne Montanio as heavily stereotyped character Felix, Bob Minor as fighter King Clive, Roy Jenson as a guard, George 'Buck' Flower as ...what else?... a bum, and Danny Trejo as a character dubbed 'Mean'. Ravishing Debra Lamb has one memorable scene as a motel clerk.

As for the rest of the movie, it's all watchable enough but also instantly forgettable.

Five out of 10.

Cast:Linda Blair, David Hasselhoff, John Vernon As you watch this film you can see how bad Blair's work has gotten. This action flick stars Hasselhoff as a cop who is hired to protect Blair from bad. If any one wanted to protect Blair from bad they would tell her not to do this film! 0* out of ****

They obviously spent a lot of money on this one. There are locations shots, helicopters, explosions, horses, Mariachi sombreros. It's an aimless adventure flick that's supposed to be funny. The people are all caricatures but don't pull it off. I'm not saying it isn't a little fun. It's a TV kind of movie with little real development. A series of episodic rescues. Underlying everything is the fact that people are willing to kill or be killed without really looking into the realities of everything. Linda Blair. What a career. She looks a little frumpy for a leading lady. Hasselhoff is all blue eyes and testosterone. But it is just a bunch of chases, automatic weapons, body parts, some nudity. Just to drag a few people into a movie theater or to watch a video. Like a thousand things I've seen before with almost nothing to recommend it.